Another jerk.
Hi Lady.
I am writing to you because I don't know what to do about something. I was asked by someone to marry him, only to have him go off and sleep with someone else a month later. I am so angry at this. I thought things would be different, that he would see the error, and at least apologize. He has tried to be friends with me, but no apology for this selfish behavior. I just get so ANGRY when he tries to contact me through email or whatever. I have never felt such outbursts of anger in my life. When someone or something, ANYTHING right now crosses me, I just explode with rage. Is this normal? I mean, I was really hurt at first, but all I feel now is RAGE. Can you tell me about this?
Really angry Frannie
Hi Frannie. This is not uncommon. It sounds like you feel "ripped off" or emotionally abused. The "rage" you feel is a circumstance, so try to look at it from outside. You were on a high of possibly having something, or you seemed to have it, only for it to be taken away.
This guy emotionally is looking for two things. You and everyone else. It is a very selfish behavior that comes from an area of "there must be something better, let me make sure I'm in the clear in case it comes along, but I still like you so please be around "till I find it." I've dated a couple of these asswipes, they're self absorbed. You're probably in a state of shock that someone would do these things, because a considerate normal person doesn't. Take some time at the gym to box and pretend that their face is on the heavy bag. Be cool as a cucumber when he contacts you, and he'll do it less and less, thinking you're "okay". If you run into him, just be polite and get out of there. Do all this until you get an apology. If you don't and are still angry, fire off a goodbye forever email that rips his balls off and be done with it. The anger will simmer out after a while, it's the stage when you are getting clear about what happened, without the feeling of forgiveness, because your love is disappearing for this jerk. It's not pretty, but people like this exist and they are NOT good for you.
Hope this helps.
I am writing to you because I don't know what to do about something. I was asked by someone to marry him, only to have him go off and sleep with someone else a month later. I am so angry at this. I thought things would be different, that he would see the error, and at least apologize. He has tried to be friends with me, but no apology for this selfish behavior. I just get so ANGRY when he tries to contact me through email or whatever. I have never felt such outbursts of anger in my life. When someone or something, ANYTHING right now crosses me, I just explode with rage. Is this normal? I mean, I was really hurt at first, but all I feel now is RAGE. Can you tell me about this?
Really angry Frannie
Hi Frannie. This is not uncommon. It sounds like you feel "ripped off" or emotionally abused. The "rage" you feel is a circumstance, so try to look at it from outside. You were on a high of possibly having something, or you seemed to have it, only for it to be taken away.
This guy emotionally is looking for two things. You and everyone else. It is a very selfish behavior that comes from an area of "there must be something better, let me make sure I'm in the clear in case it comes along, but I still like you so please be around "till I find it." I've dated a couple of these asswipes, they're self absorbed. You're probably in a state of shock that someone would do these things, because a considerate normal person doesn't. Take some time at the gym to box and pretend that their face is on the heavy bag. Be cool as a cucumber when he contacts you, and he'll do it less and less, thinking you're "okay". If you run into him, just be polite and get out of there. Do all this until you get an apology. If you don't and are still angry, fire off a goodbye forever email that rips his balls off and be done with it. The anger will simmer out after a while, it's the stage when you are getting clear about what happened, without the feeling of forgiveness, because your love is disappearing for this jerk. It's not pretty, but people like this exist and they are NOT good for you.
Hope this helps.
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