Bad science experiment.
Lady Lorrington,
I have been married for nine years to a great guy. I think I may be in love with someone else. Please listen to my letter and see if you know what I should do about it.
I have been mostly faithful to my husband, seeing the whole "responsibility" thing as a factor when confronted with my desire for other men. I love my husband and really don't want to see him hurt. As of about a year ago, though, I found myself completely obsessed with porn and masturbating with other guys in my mind. I started poking around the net and stuff, just to see what was available. I was curious and also was curious about the whole seduction thing. It turns me on to think about hot seduction techniques.
I even started seducing girls, getting them to want to sleep with me. (I did it a couple of times, it wasn't my thing.)
Anyway, I took this a little too far with a guy I work with. I loved the power I had when I felt I was twisting his mind with seduction techniques. (I also got your book, yours work great, he didn't know a thing that was happening.) I think I was really just fasinated(sp) with the process of getting men to want me bad.
So, this guy from work starts driving me to lunch, hanging out, other stuff. He even met my husband and they got along nicely.
Well, one night after a work happy hour function, I was a little tipsy, and this guy offered to drive me home. I said sure, I'll leave my car at work. We drive a little and we're stopped at a light. We kiss while stopped at the light, and it felt really good. I said, I'm not going to sleep with you, I'm married. He said, I don't want to sleep with you. We go a little farther and stop at another light. Full blown makeout session. I was so hot from this, I couldn't stand it. He was hot too, I could tell. So a little while further I said pull over, and started to make out again. He was really getting me going, but I was determined to stay in control. He was still getting hot so I decided that a little [edited} wouldn't hurt my marriage. I unzipped him and gave him a long [edited] While I did this, he played with me and kept saying hot crazy stuff to me like how do I like to get [edited] and wouldn 't I like a guy to [edited and edited] I got so hot from this I [edited] right there while I was [edited] him. We cleaned up and he took me home. I decided that would be that. I seduced my husband and kept him happy for the next couple of days.
After a few more days I was going crazy. I just couldn't stop thinking about this guy doing the things he was talking about to me. I told my husband we should take a vacation, that I wanted to get another job, etc. so I wouldn't see him. Every time I saw him I got hot thinking of him doing stuff to me. It was agony.
Well, you guessed it. We started having a full blown affair. I was a crazy person. I would let him do all sorts of hot naughty things with me. It was so exciting. Now, however, I feel I am falling for him. I wasn't that attracted to him, but now I just want to be with him. I lied to my husband and went away one weekend with him. We danced and got drunk and fell asleep in the forest and woke up in the morning and made love right there in the forest. That's when I think I fell in love with him.
He has a wife and child, and said he would leave them if I left my husband to be with me forever. I think I might do it. I don't want to hurt anybody, especially my husband. I don't think he suspects a thing, but I notice he's more distant. I have to make a decision. Let me know what you think.
Angela
Angela. Slow down. Think before you drink. Seriously, I think looking back, if you read your own letter yourself, you'll spot some scientific clues concerning why you're willing to turn your life upside down for this guy.
I'm all for hot romance and caring and true love, but sometimes I just get analytical about the science behind the "falling" process. Here's what I think happened.
Your husband was already a conquered animal, and you missed the mating process of seduction for a long period, This was amplified by obsessing about it and turning your attention to harmless "poking around" porn and seduction techniques and the rest. Over time, you realized the power it could give you and you enjoyed that. OVER TIME. Then, in a natural progression and a proximity environment, (i.e. work), your techniques started to have a lasting effect on a certain subject (the guy). This got your brain in a single direct interaction phase, the next crucial step. If you used some serious psychology and seduction techniques, the guy probably started fighting his obsessions with you right there. A viscious "engram" (circling brain circuit) is programmed now into his brain. He "had" to have you. The next step is contact. The effect of engram over time is compulsion. He was steering it towards resolution, meaning he may or may not have known that his brain would try to get you in a "situation", the car. You sound like your brain was going there too, but you were fighting it. Then came sexual contact. Yes, a little whatever in the car might have taken care of it. One thing bothers me. Him talking dirty and saying those things while you did it. It's called "dominance theory", a theory that when someone is in a submissive situation, they are very open to suggestion. I think you got nabbed right there. He may have known what he was doing or not. Think about it. You became obsessed after that. Did he use it on you?
The next step is just a little baby step. The thing is on a crash course with all that time, seeing the guy, and no resolution. So it went where it was going to go.
The last step is a little funny, I find. It is very common to "fall" for someone when you do it in the morning. In fact, "morning" couples are most likely to stay together. An added fact is that people have more of a tendency to form attachments during "recovery" phase of their physical health. So, this "love" you feel, beyond desire and compulsion, might have been tripped by a little hangover forest nooky. Think about it.
Before you throw over your husband to be with this guy, please take a look at the big picture. You were in a cascading situation and it came to a logical conclusion. However, as Prince said, forever is a mighty long time. Don't be so sure you aren't compensating for the affair in the name of true love by using the word "forever".
You may break up a family here, and it may be just what someone else wants. I'm still suspicious about the dirty talk in the car.
My final advice. Give it two months before making such a life changing decision. Two marriages and a child. Watch out for justifying such an enormous decision in your head. That's your ego tricking you, and she doesn't like science.
p.s. Your husband knows, there, slick. LL :)
I have been married for nine years to a great guy. I think I may be in love with someone else. Please listen to my letter and see if you know what I should do about it.
I have been mostly faithful to my husband, seeing the whole "responsibility" thing as a factor when confronted with my desire for other men. I love my husband and really don't want to see him hurt. As of about a year ago, though, I found myself completely obsessed with porn and masturbating with other guys in my mind. I started poking around the net and stuff, just to see what was available. I was curious and also was curious about the whole seduction thing. It turns me on to think about hot seduction techniques.
I even started seducing girls, getting them to want to sleep with me. (I did it a couple of times, it wasn't my thing.)
Anyway, I took this a little too far with a guy I work with. I loved the power I had when I felt I was twisting his mind with seduction techniques. (I also got your book, yours work great, he didn't know a thing that was happening.) I think I was really just fasinated(sp) with the process of getting men to want me bad.
So, this guy from work starts driving me to lunch, hanging out, other stuff. He even met my husband and they got along nicely.
Well, one night after a work happy hour function, I was a little tipsy, and this guy offered to drive me home. I said sure, I'll leave my car at work. We drive a little and we're stopped at a light. We kiss while stopped at the light, and it felt really good. I said, I'm not going to sleep with you, I'm married. He said, I don't want to sleep with you. We go a little farther and stop at another light. Full blown makeout session. I was so hot from this, I couldn't stand it. He was hot too, I could tell. So a little while further I said pull over, and started to make out again. He was really getting me going, but I was determined to stay in control. He was still getting hot so I decided that a little [edited} wouldn't hurt my marriage. I unzipped him and gave him a long [edited] While I did this, he played with me and kept saying hot crazy stuff to me like how do I like to get [edited] and wouldn 't I like a guy to [edited and edited] I got so hot from this I [edited] right there while I was [edited] him. We cleaned up and he took me home. I decided that would be that. I seduced my husband and kept him happy for the next couple of days.
After a few more days I was going crazy. I just couldn't stop thinking about this guy doing the things he was talking about to me. I told my husband we should take a vacation, that I wanted to get another job, etc. so I wouldn't see him. Every time I saw him I got hot thinking of him doing stuff to me. It was agony.
Well, you guessed it. We started having a full blown affair. I was a crazy person. I would let him do all sorts of hot naughty things with me. It was so exciting. Now, however, I feel I am falling for him. I wasn't that attracted to him, but now I just want to be with him. I lied to my husband and went away one weekend with him. We danced and got drunk and fell asleep in the forest and woke up in the morning and made love right there in the forest. That's when I think I fell in love with him.
He has a wife and child, and said he would leave them if I left my husband to be with me forever. I think I might do it. I don't want to hurt anybody, especially my husband. I don't think he suspects a thing, but I notice he's more distant. I have to make a decision. Let me know what you think.
Angela
Angela. Slow down. Think before you drink. Seriously, I think looking back, if you read your own letter yourself, you'll spot some scientific clues concerning why you're willing to turn your life upside down for this guy.
I'm all for hot romance and caring and true love, but sometimes I just get analytical about the science behind the "falling" process. Here's what I think happened.
Your husband was already a conquered animal, and you missed the mating process of seduction for a long period, This was amplified by obsessing about it and turning your attention to harmless "poking around" porn and seduction techniques and the rest. Over time, you realized the power it could give you and you enjoyed that. OVER TIME. Then, in a natural progression and a proximity environment, (i.e. work), your techniques started to have a lasting effect on a certain subject (the guy). This got your brain in a single direct interaction phase, the next crucial step. If you used some serious psychology and seduction techniques, the guy probably started fighting his obsessions with you right there. A viscious "engram" (circling brain circuit) is programmed now into his brain. He "had" to have you. The next step is contact. The effect of engram over time is compulsion. He was steering it towards resolution, meaning he may or may not have known that his brain would try to get you in a "situation", the car. You sound like your brain was going there too, but you were fighting it. Then came sexual contact. Yes, a little whatever in the car might have taken care of it. One thing bothers me. Him talking dirty and saying those things while you did it. It's called "dominance theory", a theory that when someone is in a submissive situation, they are very open to suggestion. I think you got nabbed right there. He may have known what he was doing or not. Think about it. You became obsessed after that. Did he use it on you?
The next step is just a little baby step. The thing is on a crash course with all that time, seeing the guy, and no resolution. So it went where it was going to go.
The last step is a little funny, I find. It is very common to "fall" for someone when you do it in the morning. In fact, "morning" couples are most likely to stay together. An added fact is that people have more of a tendency to form attachments during "recovery" phase of their physical health. So, this "love" you feel, beyond desire and compulsion, might have been tripped by a little hangover forest nooky. Think about it.
Before you throw over your husband to be with this guy, please take a look at the big picture. You were in a cascading situation and it came to a logical conclusion. However, as Prince said, forever is a mighty long time. Don't be so sure you aren't compensating for the affair in the name of true love by using the word "forever".
You may break up a family here, and it may be just what someone else wants. I'm still suspicious about the dirty talk in the car.
My final advice. Give it two months before making such a life changing decision. Two marriages and a child. Watch out for justifying such an enormous decision in your head. That's your ego tricking you, and she doesn't like science.
p.s. Your husband knows, there, slick. LL :)
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