Can't see the forest for the trees
Hi Lady L,
I am having a little inner turmoil over something. I know this guy who was really close with me recently. He is way cool and an amazing artist genius type. I think he was really interested in taking our relationship to the next level. However, any time I was about to really go in there and give myself to him, something or someone got in the way. Whether it was his or my past, some other guy or girl, we just couldn't get it together. I am not the relationship type, I get bored easy. I have my share of attention from guys so I'm pretty cavalier about the whole dating thing.
Anyway, we were close and some things happened that were just plain bad. A co worker of his befriended me and I started to spend time with her. I met her through a project he was working on, when he got me a job on the project.
As I spent time on the project, I started to really get into the "whole new me" part of it. I befriended the co worker's boss and he started wining and dining me, taking me out, whatever. I started spending more time with the co worker and her boss, and got a little swept up in my new position.
Meanwhile, I tried to stay close with my artist friend, but he is the shy type, and the boss and his workers were taking more and more time with me.
I am starting to realize that the boss just wants to bleep me and the co worker wanted to bleep my friend. My friend turned her down and I realize now that she was trying to sink him, his project and our close friendship after that. I was stupid to think that my friend would put up with this crap, because he didn't. He won't speak to me anymore. I think he may have been in love with me. I don't know if I was in love with him, but I miss him, and I'm starting to hate these other people. I started to date some other guy. He is cute, but he is dull. Should I try to make it up to my friend? I think I may have really hurt him.
Darla, stupid in Nova Scotia
I think, Darla, you were a little blinded by the new situation. Your friend knew what he was getting into when he got you on the project. We all naturally want to do the best job possible and make everybody happy, but you have to keep people, especially new ones in your life, in check. You don't know how far they'll go to screw your life up for their own gain.
It also sounds like, you guessed it, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This co worker would go to any lengths, whether consciously or not, to destroy your friend's projects, friendships, relationships, anything. She probably played real nicey nice while killing your friendship with the artist. Be with me, play with me, blah blah. Now you have a poor little girl to take care of with a horny boss to boot. And a dull cute boy to screw. Is the project the artist was working on dead now? She succeeded. Is your friend ever mentioned in a good light? You were bulldozed.
Darla, you couldn't see the forest for the trees. You thought you were really making a good career move by going in with the other people. Your artist friend's project and him are gone now, and you feel a little remorse. How cute. How long will the remorse last? You'll forget about it like you dismissed your friend, I bet. What bothers me is you didn't see the conniving going on. You were too wrapped up in your ambition to see what the hell was going on.
Your artist friend needs time to heal. It sounds like he was giving you everything he thought you wanted, only for you to jump another bandwagon when things weren't sailing.
Watch those vengeful so called friends, Darla. I'd be surprised if the artist guy ever forgave you.
I am having a little inner turmoil over something. I know this guy who was really close with me recently. He is way cool and an amazing artist genius type. I think he was really interested in taking our relationship to the next level. However, any time I was about to really go in there and give myself to him, something or someone got in the way. Whether it was his or my past, some other guy or girl, we just couldn't get it together. I am not the relationship type, I get bored easy. I have my share of attention from guys so I'm pretty cavalier about the whole dating thing.
Anyway, we were close and some things happened that were just plain bad. A co worker of his befriended me and I started to spend time with her. I met her through a project he was working on, when he got me a job on the project.
As I spent time on the project, I started to really get into the "whole new me" part of it. I befriended the co worker's boss and he started wining and dining me, taking me out, whatever. I started spending more time with the co worker and her boss, and got a little swept up in my new position.
Meanwhile, I tried to stay close with my artist friend, but he is the shy type, and the boss and his workers were taking more and more time with me.
I am starting to realize that the boss just wants to bleep me and the co worker wanted to bleep my friend. My friend turned her down and I realize now that she was trying to sink him, his project and our close friendship after that. I was stupid to think that my friend would put up with this crap, because he didn't. He won't speak to me anymore. I think he may have been in love with me. I don't know if I was in love with him, but I miss him, and I'm starting to hate these other people. I started to date some other guy. He is cute, but he is dull. Should I try to make it up to my friend? I think I may have really hurt him.
Darla, stupid in Nova Scotia
I think, Darla, you were a little blinded by the new situation. Your friend knew what he was getting into when he got you on the project. We all naturally want to do the best job possible and make everybody happy, but you have to keep people, especially new ones in your life, in check. You don't know how far they'll go to screw your life up for their own gain.
It also sounds like, you guessed it, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This co worker would go to any lengths, whether consciously or not, to destroy your friend's projects, friendships, relationships, anything. She probably played real nicey nice while killing your friendship with the artist. Be with me, play with me, blah blah. Now you have a poor little girl to take care of with a horny boss to boot. And a dull cute boy to screw. Is the project the artist was working on dead now? She succeeded. Is your friend ever mentioned in a good light? You were bulldozed.
Darla, you couldn't see the forest for the trees. You thought you were really making a good career move by going in with the other people. Your artist friend's project and him are gone now, and you feel a little remorse. How cute. How long will the remorse last? You'll forget about it like you dismissed your friend, I bet. What bothers me is you didn't see the conniving going on. You were too wrapped up in your ambition to see what the hell was going on.
Your artist friend needs time to heal. It sounds like he was giving you everything he thought you wanted, only for you to jump another bandwagon when things weren't sailing.
Watch those vengeful so called friends, Darla. I'd be surprised if the artist guy ever forgave you.
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