No, he's mine!
dear Lady Lorrington.
I am writing about a friend of mine. We are generally great friends, but when we go out, we are always competing for the same guys. It has happened more than not, it seems so silly. She is somewhat prettier than me, but I am more funny and outgoing. (plus I read your book) It gets a little frosty between us when this happens, for a couple of days at least, but then things go back to normal. (really good friends.) It's starting to annoy me though, because when I back off from a guy, it seems like she loses interest too. It's like if I wasn't there, she wouldn't even try for the guy! How can we "double trouble" if this is always going to happen? I feel like just finding another girl to hang out with to find guys. Maybe one that is less attractive, so I can have my pick. What do you think?
Sarah
Hello Sarah. Well, to be honest, we girls are very competitive in the guy department. Especially in this liberated age, we find ourselves with more options and are not considered "sluts" (by most) for going out for guys, so this competition arises more frequently. It sounds like you two are equally attractive in your own way, so that itself sets the stage for a "race". You'll also find yourself mimicking your friends when you get a steady guy. All of of a sudden your friend will have a steady guy, too.
Just be aware of these "herd" behaviors, and you'll head towards a more independent and mature decision process about dating. To be truly liberated is to be independent enough to make decisions about what kind of guy you should date and when. Discuss this with your friend, and you'll both be a little wiser.
Going out with someone less attractive smacks of "Queen Bee" syndrome, and this is immature. Save the "wait here while I go boink this guy, my little worshipper". It is an indication of low self esteem on the part of the more attractive friend. I personally got rid of all my "Queen Bee" type friends. It's childish elementary school girlish behavior, and nobody benefits from it. Hope this helps.
I am writing about a friend of mine. We are generally great friends, but when we go out, we are always competing for the same guys. It has happened more than not, it seems so silly. She is somewhat prettier than me, but I am more funny and outgoing. (plus I read your book) It gets a little frosty between us when this happens, for a couple of days at least, but then things go back to normal. (really good friends.) It's starting to annoy me though, because when I back off from a guy, it seems like she loses interest too. It's like if I wasn't there, she wouldn't even try for the guy! How can we "double trouble" if this is always going to happen? I feel like just finding another girl to hang out with to find guys. Maybe one that is less attractive, so I can have my pick. What do you think?
Sarah
Hello Sarah. Well, to be honest, we girls are very competitive in the guy department. Especially in this liberated age, we find ourselves with more options and are not considered "sluts" (by most) for going out for guys, so this competition arises more frequently. It sounds like you two are equally attractive in your own way, so that itself sets the stage for a "race". You'll also find yourself mimicking your friends when you get a steady guy. All of of a sudden your friend will have a steady guy, too.
Just be aware of these "herd" behaviors, and you'll head towards a more independent and mature decision process about dating. To be truly liberated is to be independent enough to make decisions about what kind of guy you should date and when. Discuss this with your friend, and you'll both be a little wiser.
Going out with someone less attractive smacks of "Queen Bee" syndrome, and this is immature. Save the "wait here while I go boink this guy, my little worshipper". It is an indication of low self esteem on the part of the more attractive friend. I personally got rid of all my "Queen Bee" type friends. It's childish elementary school girlish behavior, and nobody benefits from it. Hope this helps.
<< Home